And She Broke
by edwardNOTjacob
Summary: A one-shot I have been wanting to write for a while. A deeper look at Bella when Edward left her, the way I envision it.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**A/N: I had written only the last few lines of this one day, and have been meaning to complete it ever since. Tonight, it came to me. I hope you enjoy it.**

Saturday dawned, a surprisingly mild and sunny day. _Finally_, Bella thought, staring out the window. That meant she could finally go. Go _there_. She had been contemplating it for a while, trying to find the courage to step onto that sacred ground. But she had willed herself to wait for a sunny day, a day like that first day. Her heart didn't lurch at the thought. It remained perfectly calm; _numbingly _calm. That's how she'd known she was ready of course, when she realized that she was numb. _Completely perfectly and incandescently…numb._ She sighed. That wasn't _quite_ the way the line went, but much more fitting given the circumstances.

Slowly she began to go through what she now called the "Interminable Routine." Step into shower, wash body, shampoo hair, rinse hair, step out of shower. Then dry off, get dressed, comb hair twenty times, and force down ten spoonfuls of cereal. She was used to it by now, and it made Charlie happy. After that initial day in the forest, she had fallen into a pit of despair. One morning however, she woke to find that while her heart still hurt, the tears had stopped. Totally stopped. And slowly after, the pain went too. She _knew_ they weren't gone – they would never be _gone_. But neither had she allowed herself to break again. She was untouchable. A perfectly functioning machine. Utterly unbreakable.

She was damn proud of herself for it too.

Routine done, she grabbed a blanket and her keys, and made her way out the door. She drove in silence. She didn't listen to music anymore. Her thoughts were non-existent. She also didn't allow herself to think. Thinking tended to threaten the numbness. The only sound was the gentle roar of her red truck. She loved that sound. It was the one thing that brought her any semblance of joy anymore. It was just so…_constant_. So reliable. And hers. Exclusively hers. And it couldn't leave her.

She drove for a good amount of time. She didn't bother with minor details like time checking anymore, what did it matter? The sun rose, and then the sun set. Over, and over, and over. She parked the truck and stepped out slowly, staring ahead of her. Keeping her eyes ahead, she reached in to grab the blanket. She locked the car, and stepped forward. _This is it._ She began to walk. She walked for another unlabeled amount of time. She wasn't sure if she knew where she was going, but that didn't matter either. She would just go and go until she did get there. Finally she saw it. She slowly walked up to the entrance. She was here.

Ahead, the meadow stretched, just as she had remembered. She tentatively placed a foot forward, testing the numbness. That was one thing she wasn't willing to sacrifice. When it seemed strong enough, she walked the rest of the way in. She twirled on the spot, staring at the beauty surrounding her. Placing her blanket down, she lay down on her back, staring at the sky. She let the meadow take her in, make her a part of itself. She wasn't sure how long she lay there. Long enough to watch the sun make its way across the sky. Twilight was approaching. _Ah, Twilight. _Bella checked to make sure the numbness was still holding strong. It always felt a bit more wobbly during Twilight. But no, it didn't fail her once more. She slowly stood up, and picked up her blanket. She was finished folding it into a neat pile when she heard it.

"Bella…" _Ah! So you have decided to forsake me_. She thought to her numb heart. _And here I thought it would last me until I arrived home. _A breeze stirred around her, and she suddenly knew she wasn't alone.

"Bell…"

She turned slowly, cautiously, her mind frozen. _It's not his voice Bella, it's not him, it's not him. _Her mind kept repeating this, foolishly hoping she would believe it. Then she saw him.

"Edward?" She whispered painfully, praying this wasn't a mirage. She couldn't bear it if this was a dream.

"Bella" He replied, standing not ten feet away from her, his face etched with remorse.

She couldn't move. She stopped breathing, stopped blinking, because if she did, she was sure he would disappear.

He stepped towards her, his eyes never leaving her face, trying to drink her in. _God I have missed her._ He kept moving, until he was standing right before her. His hand reached out slowly, gently resting on her cheek.

And she finally broke.


End file.
